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Wednesday, February 28, 2024

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Morning. I’m searching for parenting recommendation and am posting right here in hopes that there are some people on this board who’ve Been There, Carried out That — the C-Mothers convo tends to run a bit younger for this, I believe.

I’ve three children, ages 14, 11, and eight. I had a tough upbringing — my single mother was a mentally unstable yeller, we lived in poverty, and he or she was a hoarder. All of this has, after all, impacted me — and I’ve been in remedy on and off for a lot of, a few years. Necessary to this story: my husband and I’ve a secure, loving marriage and we’re undoubtedly financially safe. Not as rich as many on this board, however our youngsters need for nothing and now we have a particularly snug life.

That is going to sound SO WEIRD, however I want to determine how exhausting I needs to be pushing on my children when it comes to chores (and different expectations of them). I used to be adulting from a particularly younger age, so my view is skewed. However are you able to give me a way of what’s “regular” when it comes to cleansing up the home — like, I get that it doesn’t must be spic and span on a regular basis (we’re removed from!) however they drive me batty once they go away a path of stuff out/don’t clear up their messes on the eating room desk/and so on. So how irritated can I get? I’m making an attempt to weigh how a lot of that is (a) me having to develop up too quick, (b) my visceral response to mess since I grew up in a hoarder home, and (c) only a common want for management. Our home isn’t enormous, so it not often will get to a mayday-level mess besides when the ladies are doing skincare within the toilet 😉

We usually ask all three children to assist choose up periodically through the week. If they carry lunch to high school, they’re answerable for making it. They in all probability load/unload the dishwasher 4x/week (we run it every day). The 2 youthful ones put away their very own laundry that partner and I fold; the 14 yr outdated does her personal. Additionally they have full schedules with faculty, sports activities, and music/theater.

I’m bored with stressing in regards to the state of our residence. I do know a lot of that is my very own situation, however I’d welcome a recalibration.



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